I’ve been struggling within myself. From time to time, everything falls apart and I don’t know where I’m at or what should I do. I feel like something was suddenly awoke inside of me, a darkness. Did I waste time with what I have been doing? At 40's, what have I improved, what have I grown, what have I built?
Suddenly I feel unable to deal with myself. I feel like a fraud. And I've been more lonely than ever.
Looking at simple things during the day as something special and feeling grateful is what is making me sustain the countenance that everything is fine, that I can help others and be useful.
These last days I have been feeling so strange (mainly yesterday and today) regarding my emotions that I decided to google the following: “What tea is good for better moods”.
I keep myself aware that everything I feel is based on my own projections and how I see things. I am the only being responsible for how I feel. My inner state is up to me.
Ps. for the first time this year, mercury is retrograde. It is said that it happens at least 3 times per year. Mercury is moving the opposite side of Earth. And what the fuck does it mean? It is said that there is a hard time for everybody and probably obstacles from the past, bad habits or some negative limiting belief is back and you must to be careful to not feeding them because you already did that last year or in past years. Oh, astrology… is it a hint for me?
